#8 Romans and Romance?

Ife Shoola
Nov 26, 2016
4 min read

"Dear spiritual brother while you are reading the book of Romans read about romance also. (Get it?)" You are not going to propose in tongues.

Its a long post, but if you don't mind, can you leave your thoughts? I wanna hear what you think too.

I have been having all manner of conversations with people about this issue of spirituality and romance. Their topics range from "where is that brother/sister" to "will you ride my BMW?". (BMW meaning Be My Wife. Haha!)

"Dear future husband, while you are reading the book of Romans read about romance also. (Get it?)"

Or so I thought would be the title of this post.

In fact, I thought the purpose would be to encourage my brothers and Sisters in the Lord that while they are praying and fasting and reading books on purpose and intimacy with God. They should not forget to prepare for their love life.

I was going to recommend solid books like; The five love languages by Gary Chapman, Boy meets girl and I kissed Dating goodbye by Joshua Harris, and also a relationship series that Apostle Joshua Selman preached about. But now, you'll know soon why I changed my mind. Or did I?

I recently 'ranted' to a brother that many of us sisters are marrying outside the church and its their fault. They need to step up their game in the romance/relationship aspect! Or are you going to propose in tongues?

I still maintain this stand though. Lol.

I ranted because I have sisters that tell me "spiritual brothers" don't exist, the ones that seem to be spiritual are fake. But it was paining me because I know brothers that are real, and are serious about God and their destiny. Brothers that are secretly preparing for their future and genuinely concerned about the vineyard.

However, I'll let this excerpt from a recent conversation I had with a spiritual brother of mine do the speaking. (I have removed some parts, but not too much to get away from the main point)

Brother: I still remember when you ranted @BrotherX to get a sister. I was laughing all through. A lady did the same to me once, She asked me my definition of a romantic evening with a sister......I told her 6 hour praying in tongues...... Then we worship for two hours..... Then we drink coke and each to his tent....Oh boy, you need to see the way she responded... One would think I killed her favorite puppy or something. Till today she still refers to it.⁠

Me: Spiritual sisters get it, your ministry is very important, and they are ready to pray 6 hours with you, and fast 7 days. Bhet not all the time. 🙄 You probably painted a picture to that sister that all your gonna be doing is praying and fasting, that is good. But you have to add a little extra something something. If you don't speak sweet Yoruba nothings to her, (she will still stay with you because she loves God oo), but how will you let her know, you appreciate her as a being? Look at the way Christ loves the church now, we still work ooo, but part of our relationship with Christ is the sweet part, where He tells us how lovely we are, and how much He loves us, and fills our mouth with Good things, and our hearts with joy!

Brother: None of my friends have seen me cry. When stuff just gets too much, I go and rant to Jesus, I can't count the number of times I've cried on his shoulders. Even BrotherX hasn't seen me cry. So, to now say I want to be like that with someone. Maybe if only God tells me in a vision..

Me: Hmmmmm, I see.

Brother: I was planning on enjoying this last holidays. You know, go out and stuff. My next door neighbor was sick with cancer for about 6 months. I was there when various men of God came to pray for him...I was there when he died. These are the things that sponsor my hunger. Why couldn't he be healed? One girl will now tell me that I'm not romantic...And I'm like, can romantic heal the sick. But till then, we keep running towards God, if any lady can keep up. We'll discuss.

Me: I'm going to write an article, mind if I use excepts from this conversation? Its gonna be on Facebook. I'll send you a copy, I haven't decided what its point would be.

What then shall we say to this? These are the reasons I tell brothers "not yet". There is still work to be done in the kingdom. And yes, I am ready to sacrifice my future for the sake of the vineyard. I think the middle ground would be purpose. What is your focus? Your goal? Find it first, run with it. If you meet a brother or a sister that can keep up with you in the race towards God, discuss. If you need a brother or sister to help you in your race, trust God to provide one. If not, like Brother Paul, keep running. But still, while reading romans, learn the language of romance. If its not useful to you, your wisdom in that aspect will be very much useful to others. Take for instance, it was not recorded that Apostle Paul was married, yet he taught on marriage/relationship issues. Selah.